The Heart of (my) Life

Hello blog. It’s been ages since I wrote anything. I have all of the best intentions of writing, but I never seem to get it together. But I swear, I’m going to get better. I honestly want to get back to posting regularly. Anyway, I do actually have a topic I want to discuss. This subject comes up often in my writings, though generally only peripherally. But I was spurred on today by something a friend said to me, something that I’ve heard many times before, “You travel more than anyone I know”. So I want to talk about travel and my many journeys, both past and (hopefully) future. I have to say, I know that this subject has the possibilities of making me sound like a complete braggart. Let me assure you, I am not attempting to impress or condescend to anyone with this. To many people it sounds like somewhat extensive travel experience, but to others it’s just a drop in the bucket. I should say that I unabashedly love to travel. I dig everything about it, the different experiences, the potential to learn something new, the comfort of finding someplace wonderful exactly how you last left it, encountering people you would otherwise have never known, and all of the things, good and bad, that come with stepping outside of your normal life. I love researching and planning trips and I’m completely interested in experiencing fresh places, even if it’s by poring over other people’s vacation photos.

I can list all of the foreign lands that I’ve been to fairly easily – Italy (Rome, Tuscany, Florence & Venice), Spain (Madrid, Seville, Granada & Barcelona), Croatia (Zagreb, Rab & Dubrovnik), France (Aix-en-Provence, Marseilles, Cassis, St. Tropez, Vence & Nice), Portugal (Lisbon), The Bahamas (Nassau / Paradise Island), Jamaica (Negril, Ocho Rios & Montego Bay), Canada (Vancouver), and Mexico (Cancun, Saltillo, Tulum, & Laredo). Of the 50 states, I’ve only missed 7, including Alaska and Hawaii. And though that sounds like a lot of travel to some, all I can think about is all the places I haven’t been and all of the amazing things I’ve yet to see. I could make an extensive list of all of the foreign lands I want to get to and at least 10 of those feel necessary to me. Like I have a need to see them. I keep my passport on me, in case the urge (and ability) to travel hits me out of the blue. I spend more time on travel sites than anyone I know, looking up far-flung resorts and eateries as if I might go there tomorrow. I subscribe to 4 separate travel magazines and twice as many e-newsletters. I carry a photo book in my purse to remind me of trips I’ve taken and locations I’ve been to. And my favorite way to release workday tension is to plan a trip, which I may take only in my mind.

I say all of that to say that I am fascinated (and lightweight obsessed) with traveling. Something about the act of being away from my day-to-day life soothes my soul. I know that there are some people who prefer to stay at home and not stray far from their comfort zones. But, as much as I love the home I’ve made for myself, I don’t understand that mindset. Then again, I suppose they don’t understand me either. I find it difficult to verbalize the depth of my feelings on this subject. But I know where this love comes from. I am grateful everyday for my parents who drove me all over the country as a child and my grandparents who had the sense of adventure to live all over the globe and instilled that bit of daring in their children. And I’m most glad that they have always supported (emotionally and financially) my quest to see the world. I want very much to pass this joy on. I encourage folks to get out there and see what they can see. Not just to dream of far-off lands, but to save up their money and actually go there. And to be open to the experiences that they find there. I think that’s the best thing, being open to experiences, not just while traveling, but at home too. And I want my life to be filled with the best things possible, therefore I travel.

My thoughts on the Grammys

Okay, I don't tweet, so I have to find a different way to put my feelings about tonight's ceremony out there. So, here it is As I watch the show (with the beauty of DVR) I will mention any notions that comes to me.

And away we go ...
¤ Lady Gaga is like performance art, mixed with roadside carnival. No, that's not a compliment. And yet, I must admit her stuff is catchy.
¤ Seriously, will Elton John perform with anyone who asks?
¤ I think Simon Baker is actually sexier without the accent. Huh, who would've thought that?
¤ Why the hell is Beyonce singing You Oughta Know? I'm just glad Alanis didn't show up for the cheesy awards show duet.
¤ Pink, I'm tired of your trapeze act. I've seen it over and over again. Get a new schtick. I am always surprised by her voice though.
¤ That is not a good look, Miranda Lambert.
¤ I used to really dig country music. What happened, cause Lady Antebellum is not getting it done.
¤ Ringo Starris tiny.
¤ The more I see the Kings of Leon, the more I like them.
¤ I love Robert Downey Jr. Always game for the joke and very sexy. But that he grew into, he was not hot in Less than Zero.
¤ Thought from EP, "Has Jamie Foxx ever made a song that wasn't preposterous?"
¤ Seriously, I'm not hating on Taylor Swift, but I don't get it. What makes her so special? She sounds like a high school student in a talent show.
¤ This Michael Jackson tribute is cheese-tacular. And 3-D gives me a headache.
¤ As has been said on numerous occasions, by many people, Jon Bon Jovi looks incredible for his age. But what no one ever says is how old the rest of the band looks. Melanin would have helped y'all tremendously.
¤ Placido Domingo and Mos Def? Thanks award show.
¤ When they announced this Mary J. Blige / Andrea Bocelli performance, I didn't know what to think, but I suspected it wouldn't really work. Well, it wasn't terrible, but it just didn't do it for me. I hope lots of folk download it for Haitian relief though.
¤ Maxwell is obviously hoarse, but he's still doing his thing. I love that he's doing Where is the Love with Roberta Flack. However, her makeup was applied by a half-blind drunk ... who hates her.
¤ Thanks Drake, for letting Lil Wayne and Eminem have a moment to do their own tracks. (That is sarcasm). When did Travis Barker become the full time hip-hop guest drummer? Is he trying to take ?uestlove's job?
¤ Taylor Swift? Album of the Year? Really ???? ... I still don't get it.

Okay, I guess that's the end of that. This was a fairly lackluster show. Crappy winners (and nominees, really) and there were no performances I could even come close to calling classic. All in all, blah. I'm glad I watched on DVR.

Preach!!!!

Have you seen this? I missed a lot last week, but I'm glad I caught this. Keith Olbermann - thank you, thank you, thank you. You said this better than I ever could.

Back to Basics

Actually, the title of this entry is a total misnomer. There is absolutely nothing basic about what I want to talk about. This past week I have had the amazing experience of reconnecting with friends, some constants, some I hadn't seen in awhile. In doing this I have been able to really enjoy my life in a way that should be impossible with the difficult circumstances I'm dealing with. To me, friendship is the touchstone of a well lived life and this week I realized just how great a life I have. Being a real part of someone's life, no matter how long it is between visits, is an important thing and an honor. Seeing families start, grow, change and ultimately thrive, is incredible and even moreso when those families count you in their number. Thanks to all of my friends who make my life so much more than just existence.

- akip

This post dedicated to all of my fantastic friends, especially Norma & Irene, The Ramirez (& Fernandez) family, The Preston Family and, as always, Amanda.

Time & Change ...

Well I haven't written anything here in almost 3 months. I've meant to, but just haven't gotten to it somehow. In these past 80 days or so, I've gone through a lot. I should have many things to talk about and I will get to them soon. Here's a preview:

1. Unemployment
2. European Vacation
3. Love letter to Lisbon (yes that should be included in the previous entry, but it deserves it's own separate thought.)
4. What to do with the rest of my life
5. Being broke at Christmas
6. Control Freak-ism
7. Thoughts on long distance relationships
8. etc. ...

Midnight Maurauders

I wrote this entry on my phone a couple of Saturdays ago at like 2 in the morning after spending several hours talking to (and, I thought, vibing with) a guy who turned out to not be single. I had intended to come back and flesh this out as a full entry, but as time went on I just didn't care as much. So here is my brief thought on the matter.


It comes to mind that there are too many inconsistencies in the world. It's a world full of uncertainties and misdeeds. I'm a fairly honest person, but I know that there are plenty of others who don't share my convictions. If I'm not free, I say so. If I'm not interested, I'll tell you. And if there's no chance in hell, you'd better believe that you'll know that, sooner rather than later. I'm not fond of anyone who can't manage to push those words out of their mouth. And I cannot stand anyone who prevaricates and is just generally dishonest about their relationship status.

My Life According to ... Music

Here's a fun (and slightly frustrating) exercise. Use song titles to cleverly answer these questions. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to (BAND NAME)". The original directions were to use song names from only ONE ARTIST, but I did three different versions, just for fun. (I also did them at seperate times, so the sentiments may not exactly match from artist to artist.)

Pick Your Artist:
Hall and Oates
Elvis Presley
Jay Z


Are you a male or female?
All American Girl
Hard Headed Woman
Girls, Girls, Girls

Describe yourself:
I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do)
T-R-O-U-B-L-E
Cashmere Thoughts

How do you feel:
Head Above Water
I Feel So Bad
Feelin’ It

Describe where you currently live:
Southeast City Window
In the Ghetto
Heart of the City

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Pleasure Beach
Promised Land
All Around the World

Your favorite form of transportation:
Your Imagination
Mystery Train
Beach Chair

Your best friend is:
Woman Comes and Goes
Teddy Bear
Girls Best Friend

Your favorite color is:
Marigold Sky
Moody Blue
Blue Magic

What's the weather like:
August Day
Kentucky Rain
It’s Hot

Favorite time of day:
Open All Night
It’s Midnight
F*ck All Nite

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called:
War of Words
A Fool Such as I
Can I Live

What is life to you:
One on One
All Shook Up
Hard Knock Life

Your current relationship:
Go Solo
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
D.O.A.

Looking for:
You Make My Dreams
A Big Hunk O’ Love
Imaginary Player

Wouldn’t mind:
Method of Modern Love
Fame and Fortune
Diamond is Forever

Your fear:
Falling
I Got Stung
Ignorant Sh*t

What is the best advice you have to give:
Do What You Want, Be What You Are
Don’t Be Cruel
Get Your Mind Right

Thought for the Day:
Love Hurts (Love Heals)
I Forgot to Remember to Forget
Some People Hate

How I would like to die:
Rich Girl
If I Can Dream
Don’t Let Me Die

My motto:
Who Said the World Was Fair
It’s Now or Never
Soon You’ll Understand

... so don't tell me, you might just let it go

Have you ever noticed how many relationships in our lives are disposable? I think most people would disagree, as they feel that their connections hold more weight than that. But, I think the issue lies in the way that we use the word relationship. In today's vernacular relationship is assigned to things that are meaningful, or at least time-consuming. But, most people disregard the fact that any link between people or parties, no matter how minute, is actually a relationship.

So when I look at it that way - when I view my life through that filter - I am awed by the number (and caliber) of relationships that I've had. I have to say that my success rate seems a lot better that way. That being said, I don't usually plan for my connections to be transient. Generally speaking, I intend to keep people in my life. When they bring something positive to it, that is. That's why I have always been able to cut someone loose. There is nothing worse than a person who only takes; an emotional parasite, if you will. These folks aren't always bad, but they do manage to suck all of the oxygen out of a room. And if they do that, how the hell am I supposed to breathe?

When I reflect on the existence I've mostly enjoyed for the last 33 years or so, I know that things have changed. Friends have come and gone. I've lost and added family. The settings and circumstances are constantly in flux. And relationships are at the heart of that. But I can honestly say that I'm happy with the ones I have. And I don't regret the ones that are gone. Because, at the end of the day, the person that you are represents the years that you've lived and the relationships that you have represent the way that you've lived.

Seriously ?!?!

Just watched the episode of Eastwick I DVR'd the other night. I expected to hate it, as I never liked the movie Witches of Eastwick and this show didn't look any better. But I love Paul Gross, so I figured I'd check it out. Well, surprise, surprise, I loved it. I found the female characters enjoyable for the most part and Paul Gross was as sexy and funny as I anticipated. Plus, there was the unexpected bonus of Matt Dallas. Eastwick was a very pleasant surprise. Of course, now that I like it, it'll get cancelled with a quickness. LOL

Ladies and Gentlemen. Your starting lineup …

Inspired by (okay, directly ripped off from) a post on one of my favorite sites, I present my all-star dream team.

The Point Guard is the leader of the team. They have the best skills on the ball and make everyone around them better. My “1” is Paul Newman (anytime between 1958 –1978).

The Shooting Guard is the go-to scoring option and usually the team’s best shooter. They need to be able to get out of traffic at will and score in the face of adversity. My “2” is Djimon Hounsou.

The Small Forward is the most versatile spot, as they can fill in for other positions. They have a myriad of skills and are often the most aggressive players. My “3” is Clive Owen.

The Power Forward is the hustle-man of the game, always working in the thick of things. They post up or play under the basket and always look for an opportunity. My “4” is Chiwetel Ejiofor.

The Center is the big man in the heart of it all. They use their size and physique to their best advantage, by muscling the play and coming down with the ball. My “5” is Vin Diesel.



___________________________________________________

Also, it’s important to have a couple of valuable role players to backup your stars. I always like a weapon; someone who brings guaranteed points off the bench. My sharp shooter is Maxwell.

And don’t underestimate the need for a defensive specialist; someone who keeps the game locked down by not allowing anything to just slip by. My prime defender is Simeon Rice.

So, there it is; The best team I could put together on short notice. I like them all for different reasons, but all of them could get it like the world was gonna end. (except for Paul Newman currently. Eww! LOL) I have to say that putting this list together took way more time than I expected it to. I think I understand how GMs feel, except I didn't have to worry about paying anyone. As I look at this list, I'm struck with just how different each man is. I like that though, variety is definitely the spice of life.

Picture me rolling

Alright, who loves me? No, really LOVES me? Okay, who loves me and has plenty of disposable cash?


Great, get me this. It'll only run you 88 grand or so.

Too rich for your blood? How about this one? It's about half the price.

What, still too much? Fine, how about this?

Alright, be that way. I suppose you'll just have to imagine me having one of these, just like i'm doing. LOL.

I'm glad I didn't mention ...

If I have enough to drink, the mood is right, and I'm getting into it, I will probably go back on what I said. I know myself well enough to realize that often, in the heat of the moment I react to feelings (both emotional and physical) over logic. It should be a flaw, but honestly it's worked out alright thus far. I've had a lot of fun and some great experiences and I wouldn't trade that.

Thanks Chuck. Couldn't have said it better myself.

“If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t” - Chuck Palahniuk

“What we don't understand we can make mean anything.” - Chuck Palahniuk

Like most women who live a non-sequestered existence, I have several men in my life. They have varying levels of importance, but they all have one major thing in common. Frequently, I have absolutely no idea what they expect of me.

This weekend was loaded with prime examples of this. There's the guy from work, whom I finally got that drink with. He talks to me about things that seem important, but seems to reserve his real verve for other outlets. Then there’s the old friend who I seem to be acting as a homebase for. He moves on with his life, but uses me to remind him of what home is. Another winner is the guy whose kisses are fantastic, whether brief or not. He seems as confused by the unsure nature of our association as I am, but in the end he's really calling all the shots. And our last entrant is the male friend who likes talking to me so much he'll converse about everything and nothing at all. He seems to be unaware that our talks are so fulfilling, not because of some fluke of personality, but because we are very much alike (though, very much different, to be honest.).

So, the common thread that runs through the tapestry of my relationships with these men is that I feel strongly enough about them that sometimes I feel I know what they need. But, rarely am I informed what it is they truly want. Or what it is they want in regards to me. In some cases, I know what I've been told, but I don’t think I’m getting the complete story. And I am not one of those women who only hears what she wants and patently refuses to believe when the man tells them something they don’t want to hear. I guess this is yet another complaint about men’s vagueness - I just never realized that it was across the scope of all male / female relationships.

Damn you, Quentin Tarantino

I just got through watching Inglourious Basterds. I thoroughly enjoyed it. As usual, the performances were excellent and the music spot-on. My one complaint, and really QT was this necessary, I can't stand the misspelled title. It drives me crazy. I am such a dork. LOL

5 life lessons I learned from the NFL Players Association

Don’t be Brett Favre – When it’s time to let go, accept it and move on with your life. There’s nothing sadder than the person who is still involved in something way past its expiration date. It’s not that it can’t still have flashes of greatness, but it’s dead for the most part and it will never be what it once was. When it’s time to go, pick up your stuff, head home and find something else to do with your time.

Don’t be Chad Ochocinco (nee Johnson) – You don’t always have to be the center of attention. I get it, you want people to know and respect you, but the gold teeth, blond mohawks, name changing and general showboating really aren’t necessary. Sometimes just doing your thing extremely well is all you need. If that doesn’t put your name on people’s lips, then maybe you’re setting out to impress the wrong folks.

And for God’s sake, don’t be Plaxico Burress – No explanation needed, right? Okay fine, don’t do something stupid and then continue to pile stupid on top of it, hoping it doesn’t collapse on you. This is what happens when you go someplace specifically hoping to be seen but not wanting to be bothered, then you bring equipment you are neither qualified to have, nor trained to use. Then, when something tragic and moronic happens, you lie about it and ignore it, hoping it will go away. Then, when it all blows up in your face, you try to get people to feel sorry for you. That is stupid on top of stupid on top of stupid. Especially considering there was a smarter, easier and much quicker way to handle this that would have avoided all of this foolishness; a way that you didn’t take because it would have made you look less than cool. How cool do you look now? Get your head out of your ass.

Do be Donovan McNabb – Do your best and don’t let it ruin your life when people aren’t satisfied with that. Many things will hamper our progress in life, be they injuries or tragedies, but we have to keep moving and not give up. And when those occurrences trip us up, we must be willing and able to ignore negative people who would try to dismiss and belittle us. Keep in mind that we do what we can do, not what everyone else wants. Those same people, who are down on you in the tough times, break their necks trying to jump on your bandwagon when things are great. Just know who you are and do the damn thing.

And here’s one you probably didn’t expect, do be Michael Vick. – If you do something wrong, deal with the consequences, make amends and move on. If you get caught up pulling a Plaxico, (stupid on top of stupid) take your grown up pills and accept whatever punishment you’re given. Give apologies to those you’ve hurt and try to be a better person. Once you’ve paid your dues, don’t whine and complain. Just do better and get on with your life.

I liked "Right Here" better anyway

I have never cheated on anyone. I have, to my knowledge, never been “the other woman” or the chick on the side for anyone. I don't say that to be sanctimonious or supercilious, I'm just stating fact. As a personal choice, I don’t cheat and don’t accept being cheated on. I’ve seen all sides of that situation play out with negative and (the rare) positive outcome and it’s just not for me. I don’t begrudge others their right to make that decision, but it will just never happen for me. I know what you’re thinking, how can I be so sure? There are too many multitudes of things that can happen for me to just make a blanket statement like that.

I recently heard a song on the radio that this topic brings to mind. It was “I’m So Into You” by SWV. It’s funny, when I was in high school I loved that song. Not because I believed differently then, just because I was able to separate my enjoyment of the melody and performance of that song from the ridiculous lyrical content. It’s difficult for me to do that now. Spurred by the beat and the tone of her voice, I really wanted to like that Jazmine Sullivan track, “Bust the Windows Out Your Car”. But in the end the lyrics just made me keep thinking that this crazy bitch needs to be arrested. Anyway, back to “I’m So Into You”. As I was in my car, jamming along to the song I took a real listen at what Taj, LeeLee and Coko were singing and it gave me a headache. The whole song is silly (albeit fun) but these lyrics from the beginning of the second verse take the cake.

Friends ask how could, I give myself
To one who belongs to someone else.
They just don't know, Your love's so good
That they would want it for themselves

That is some reasoning that I just can’t get behind. Let me get this straight, he is with someone else, but his love is so good you just can’t let go? Even using “love” as a euphemism for back-breaking, bed-shaking sex, I just don’t believe it’s that good. And if it is actually about his love, that’s even worse. How great can his “love” be if he can spread it out over (at least) two people? Real love isn’t about that. It’s just not. I’m not saying that you can’t be in love and attracted to someone else, or even (in rare cases) sexing up someone else. But you can’t be in love, loving someone else, or at least I can’t. And to me, when you love someone, you make a choice to not go elsewhere for sex.

I don’t tell anyone else the choices they should make in their relationships, but if you’re in a relationship with me you can count on two things. First, I will not cheat on you. Second, I will not tolerate you cheating on me. If you’re ready to bone someone else, break-up with me. I’ll do the same for you. I just think that’s how it should be in a relationship amongst two grown ass adults. If I don’t care about you enough to be faithful, then we shouldn’t be together. Understand that I say all of these things under the auspices of a mutual serious commitment. If we’re just dating 9or hanging out or friends who may have happened to get down once or twice, I hold neither of us to these standards. But if you are the person that I call my man, and we have agreed to be in an exclusive relationship, it had better be just that … exclusive.

Mmm Mmm Good

The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment. – Will Rogers

Biology teaches us that nourishment is essential to human existence, but I think that most people tend to ignore the fact that we need all kinds of sustenance to survive. It's not just a physical need, there also has to be mental, spiritual and emotional food, or we'll wither away and die, metaphorically speaking. There is no way that I could make it without my people being there as my sounding board and I believe that they feel the same. It nourishes me to have them feed my spirit. I know that sounds very new age, but it's true. We all go through life with this need for other people, a yearning to be with and relate to our own kind. True, there are some people who prefer to isolate themselves from other human contact, but true recluses are rare. For the most part, it is within our nature to crave interpersonal connection.

This compulsion for human contact, or even more personal belonging, compels us all to make choices that may be against our better reasoning. Often times we end up in relationships that may not make us happy, but satisfy our need to be with someone, anyone. We may find ourselves in awkward social settings, dealing with folks we don’t even like just to be a part of something. Sometimes, it’s just the inability to get out of a situation that we know is wrong, because we fear the unknown, outside of our dead relationship. Either way, doing something for the sole purpose of being with or amongst company, is never the answer. I’m not saying that we should be Walden-like and give up personal connections, just that we should weigh the value of those bonds to our quality of life.

In the end, all of humanity is on a search for affinity and accord. And there is nothing wrong with that, but we must be ever vigilant that this is a soul nourishing experience that we’re having.


* Okay, this post was a little deeper than I had intended today. My bad, I'll try to be more light-hearted in the future.

Sea Change

It is so dangerous to get completely wrapped up in your job. No one should define themselves by what position they hold, because it can go at any moment. I am always envious of those who have a vocational calling. They always know what they want to be and just have to take the steps to get there. The rest of us just have to drift around trying to figure it out. But either group has to be cautious that we don't become so consumed with our jobs that we don't have a life separate from it. Or worse, that we don't know how to live without it.

This is becoming a much larger worry than it used to be, with the state of the economy and all. I know lots of people are changing positions currently and I think we have to just focus on moving forward and taking care of ourselves and our families. Don't be so proud of where you've been, that you find it impossible to adjust to new circumstances.

Anyway, that's my two cents on careers. I just thought of it because of a couple of people I know in the midst of changes. Not that I think they need this advice, but I thought I'd put it out there just the same.

Sex is easy ...

Ah, I see I got your attention with that title. But sex is easy. Relationships are hard. Speaking of that, I need to discuss what it means to "want a relationship". Because it has come up three separate times over the course of this past weekend, I feel that I must comment on this. (Truthfully, I must admit that the last two times the subject was broached, I brought it up because of the first instance.)

First, a little background on me. I am not that girl who has planned her whole life for her wedding. I have never been a woman who gauges the quality of my life by the presence and/or perceived caliber of the man in it. In fact, I was a unabashed commitment-phobe for years. If you said the word relationship to me, I started moving around with a quickness. I just wasn't interested in anything long term, and the longest I really dated anyone would be a few weeks. And slowly, over time, I started to reevaluate my thought processes and begin to change. I made a few longer term emotional bonds and found what the good in them can be. So it occurred that after years of romantic transience, I finally felt good about the idea of settling down.

So this is where things get really interesting. It's a real dating (or even socializing) misstep to say to most men that you want to be in a relationship. Over and over again I've found that it makes them immediately take a step in the other direction. Then if you don't say it, you're not being clear about what you want. It's kind of a no-win scenario. And you never actually get a chance to explain what you really mean, and if you do they think it's some kind of rationalization. I don't know about anyone else, but for me when I say I want to be in a relationship, it means just that. I would like the comfort and familiarity of being with someone on a regular basis and truly sharing ourselves with each other. What saying that does not mean is I want to be in a relationship with you. I'm wanting the whole experience, meeting someone, dating, falling in love, and taking whatever the next step might be. It annoys the hell out of me when men find that out they get this trapped and hunted down look. I'm not trying to put just anyone into this role. I'm not some low rent employment agency, just trying to fill a vacancy with any available person. I don't know what's going to happen, but I promise trying to coerce an unwilling guy into being in a relationship with me is not on my agenda.

It always seems much easier for other women. I'm sure I'm exaggerating or oversimplifying, but I feel like I missed some sort of women's studies class that explained this technique. Or maybe it's just a natural instinct I'm missing. All I know is, getting into a relationship is much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. It seems like opportunity knocked a lot louder when I wasn't interested. But, I know this I'm not about to sign up to be with just anybody so that I can say I've got a man. I've made it 33 years without that. I'm sure I'll be able to survive.

Evolutions on a recurring theme (technical difficulties)

I had just written a long (and good) post about this, but then my stupid phone froze and I lost it, but I want to get some of this down before I forget.

Men and women do not speak the same language. The words are the same, but the context is completely different. We can't understand each other because we come at things from cross purposes. Generally, women run things through an emotional filter and men put everything under a motive microscope. We could be saying the exact same words to each other but they will be comprehended in entirely different ways. Then we respond after hearing it our way and the other person is completely confused and comes back with their own spin on things. It's what leads to these invariably frustrating circular conversations that we have and even more those conversations where the other person just isn't grasping your point. Sadly, we just aren't able to turn off our overly complicated thinking, and just deal with the words at hand. Until we can do that we will continue to have these unnecessarily complex conversational issues.

So next time you're talking to someone of the opposite sex, try and separate what you think they mean from what they actually said. If they do the same maybe we can make it out of this man - woman tower of Babel.