I recently read a friend’s blog about finding your other half. I must say that, although he makes a strong personal argument, I have never bought into this concept. I always think that I’m complete already and that anyone that I might choose to share my life with would be an addition, not a completion. I just cannot believe that I am somehow deficient if I don’t have another person to supplement me. I know who I am as a person and the changes and growth that I’ve made and if you tell me that none of it is enough without someone else, I have to disagree. I know things, I’ve been places, I have people I love (and who love me); I am a fully realized individual and I am as much as I was born to be. I think the idea of there being another half out there that I have to locate or be forever diminished invalidates the person that I am. And anything that negates my life and existence is not to be borne. So no, I don’t believe in soul mates.
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My best friend told me that she wasn’t as strong as me. I suspect that strong was being used as a synonym for hard. (It’s okay, I love you anyway) But, the truth is I am so not strong or hard. I am, however a survivor, and more than that, I wholeheartedly believe in self-preservation. I have always been a person who values myself most highly. Some people would say it’s selfish; I say there’s nothing wrong with being selfish, just don’t be self-absorbed. I’m a good person, if you know me well, you already know that. I love exuberantly, protect those I love fiercely and have the same pains as anyone else. But when I decide to protect myself, whether trying to avoid emotional destruction or physical pain, I commit to it. Yes, it hurts like hell when I break-up with someone, but once I have made that choice, I stick to it. I can’t say it’s easy, but I can say that in the end it always feels worth it to me.
