I liked "Right Here" better anyway

I have never cheated on anyone. I have, to my knowledge, never been “the other woman” or the chick on the side for anyone. I don't say that to be sanctimonious or supercilious, I'm just stating fact. As a personal choice, I don’t cheat and don’t accept being cheated on. I’ve seen all sides of that situation play out with negative and (the rare) positive outcome and it’s just not for me. I don’t begrudge others their right to make that decision, but it will just never happen for me. I know what you’re thinking, how can I be so sure? There are too many multitudes of things that can happen for me to just make a blanket statement like that.

I recently heard a song on the radio that this topic brings to mind. It was “I’m So Into You” by SWV. It’s funny, when I was in high school I loved that song. Not because I believed differently then, just because I was able to separate my enjoyment of the melody and performance of that song from the ridiculous lyrical content. It’s difficult for me to do that now. Spurred by the beat and the tone of her voice, I really wanted to like that Jazmine Sullivan track, “Bust the Windows Out Your Car”. But in the end the lyrics just made me keep thinking that this crazy bitch needs to be arrested. Anyway, back to “I’m So Into You”. As I was in my car, jamming along to the song I took a real listen at what Taj, LeeLee and Coko were singing and it gave me a headache. The whole song is silly (albeit fun) but these lyrics from the beginning of the second verse take the cake.

Friends ask how could, I give myself
To one who belongs to someone else.
They just don't know, Your love's so good
That they would want it for themselves

That is some reasoning that I just can’t get behind. Let me get this straight, he is with someone else, but his love is so good you just can’t let go? Even using “love” as a euphemism for back-breaking, bed-shaking sex, I just don’t believe it’s that good. And if it is actually about his love, that’s even worse. How great can his “love” be if he can spread it out over (at least) two people? Real love isn’t about that. It’s just not. I’m not saying that you can’t be in love and attracted to someone else, or even (in rare cases) sexing up someone else. But you can’t be in love, loving someone else, or at least I can’t. And to me, when you love someone, you make a choice to not go elsewhere for sex.

I don’t tell anyone else the choices they should make in their relationships, but if you’re in a relationship with me you can count on two things. First, I will not cheat on you. Second, I will not tolerate you cheating on me. If you’re ready to bone someone else, break-up with me. I’ll do the same for you. I just think that’s how it should be in a relationship amongst two grown ass adults. If I don’t care about you enough to be faithful, then we shouldn’t be together. Understand that I say all of these things under the auspices of a mutual serious commitment. If we’re just dating 9or hanging out or friends who may have happened to get down once or twice, I hold neither of us to these standards. But if you are the person that I call my man, and we have agreed to be in an exclusive relationship, it had better be just that … exclusive.