Dark Water

I am always somewhat surprised by the power of water. Water has the force to bore a hole in rock, completely change a landscape, nurture a crop and thereby a society, or take a person's life, destroy a home, or decimate an entire area. You'd think I would remember that after all that water has brought to me, but somehow the point is hammered in anew every time I am shown its magnitude.

I love the sea. I guess I am indeed a water baby, a true Cancerian. To me there is an amazing calmness in the turmoil of the waves. I could, and have, spend hours watching the tide come in, as white water foams up against the sand and flows back out to meet its blue brethren. I know that all of that beauty comes as a byproduct of an incredibly strong tidal system that cannot be deterred by the whims of man, but that's part of the innate beauty of it.

I have an uncle who drowned. I never really knew him, as he died when I was young. I regret that loss and lack of knowledge, as I think he was probably a unique soul, within a family of large personalities. I have previously thought it's such a shame that he died that way, because it has to be a terrifying way to go - trapped within the mercies of the sea.

I almost drowned earlier today. I was simply enjoying the glory of the sea and it turned on me. Waves that were clearly heading one direction were masking treacherous undercurrents going the complete opposite way. No matter what I did, I could not make my body head shoreward. As the waves continued to get larger and larger, crashing over my head, I looked at my helplessly panicked best friend almost on the shore, and thought, "Oh shit, this is it."

I flailed around for what felt like an hour, but was probably more like two minutes, screaming for help when I could get air into my lungs. Finally, I saw three brave souls come running, from where, I have no idea. And as they were leaping into the roiling waves, I thought I just have to make it until one of them can get here. Several seconds later, I landed on a rock that allowed me to stand up, out of the water from the waist up. The waves continued to bombard me and push me away, but I just knew that I had to hold on to that rock. And hold on I did, until one of these amazing men reached me. Eventually two of them helped me back to the shore and I felt such gratitude, that I couldn't express, because I couldn't talk. They disappeared just as abruptly as they had come and I tried to pull myself together.

It's funny, at no point did my life flash before my eyes. There was no near death epiphany, just fear and strangely, love - Love of life, love for strangers who didn't even stay for thanks, and crazily enough, still love for the ocean. And more than all this, wonder at whatever force it was that saved my life. That something is bigger than all of us and created the very ocean that almost claimed me. You can use whatever name it is that works for you, I know people who use them all. To me, God is fine. And in that moment I felt God. And I think that's what I've always loved about the ocean anyway – it's God's glory.

So, thank you so much to my saviors whoever they may be. I pray that you be blessed and safe in your lives. To my friend, who I know would have killed herself trying to save me, I'm glad that wasn't necessary and I love you. And to the ocean and the God who created it, Thank you.