Thanks Chuck. Couldn't have said it better myself.

“If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t” - Chuck Palahniuk

“What we don't understand we can make mean anything.” - Chuck Palahniuk

Like most women who live a non-sequestered existence, I have several men in my life. They have varying levels of importance, but they all have one major thing in common. Frequently, I have absolutely no idea what they expect of me.

This weekend was loaded with prime examples of this. There's the guy from work, whom I finally got that drink with. He talks to me about things that seem important, but seems to reserve his real verve for other outlets. Then there’s the old friend who I seem to be acting as a homebase for. He moves on with his life, but uses me to remind him of what home is. Another winner is the guy whose kisses are fantastic, whether brief or not. He seems as confused by the unsure nature of our association as I am, but in the end he's really calling all the shots. And our last entrant is the male friend who likes talking to me so much he'll converse about everything and nothing at all. He seems to be unaware that our talks are so fulfilling, not because of some fluke of personality, but because we are very much alike (though, very much different, to be honest.).

So, the common thread that runs through the tapestry of my relationships with these men is that I feel strongly enough about them that sometimes I feel I know what they need. But, rarely am I informed what it is they truly want. Or what it is they want in regards to me. In some cases, I know what I've been told, but I don’t think I’m getting the complete story. And I am not one of those women who only hears what she wants and patently refuses to believe when the man tells them something they don’t want to hear. I guess this is yet another complaint about men’s vagueness - I just never realized that it was across the scope of all male / female relationships.

Damn you, Quentin Tarantino

I just got through watching Inglourious Basterds. I thoroughly enjoyed it. As usual, the performances were excellent and the music spot-on. My one complaint, and really QT was this necessary, I can't stand the misspelled title. It drives me crazy. I am such a dork. LOL

5 life lessons I learned from the NFL Players Association

Don’t be Brett Favre – When it’s time to let go, accept it and move on with your life. There’s nothing sadder than the person who is still involved in something way past its expiration date. It’s not that it can’t still have flashes of greatness, but it’s dead for the most part and it will never be what it once was. When it’s time to go, pick up your stuff, head home and find something else to do with your time.

Don’t be Chad Ochocinco (nee Johnson) – You don’t always have to be the center of attention. I get it, you want people to know and respect you, but the gold teeth, blond mohawks, name changing and general showboating really aren’t necessary. Sometimes just doing your thing extremely well is all you need. If that doesn’t put your name on people’s lips, then maybe you’re setting out to impress the wrong folks.

And for God’s sake, don’t be Plaxico Burress – No explanation needed, right? Okay fine, don’t do something stupid and then continue to pile stupid on top of it, hoping it doesn’t collapse on you. This is what happens when you go someplace specifically hoping to be seen but not wanting to be bothered, then you bring equipment you are neither qualified to have, nor trained to use. Then, when something tragic and moronic happens, you lie about it and ignore it, hoping it will go away. Then, when it all blows up in your face, you try to get people to feel sorry for you. That is stupid on top of stupid on top of stupid. Especially considering there was a smarter, easier and much quicker way to handle this that would have avoided all of this foolishness; a way that you didn’t take because it would have made you look less than cool. How cool do you look now? Get your head out of your ass.

Do be Donovan McNabb – Do your best and don’t let it ruin your life when people aren’t satisfied with that. Many things will hamper our progress in life, be they injuries or tragedies, but we have to keep moving and not give up. And when those occurrences trip us up, we must be willing and able to ignore negative people who would try to dismiss and belittle us. Keep in mind that we do what we can do, not what everyone else wants. Those same people, who are down on you in the tough times, break their necks trying to jump on your bandwagon when things are great. Just know who you are and do the damn thing.

And here’s one you probably didn’t expect, do be Michael Vick. – If you do something wrong, deal with the consequences, make amends and move on. If you get caught up pulling a Plaxico, (stupid on top of stupid) take your grown up pills and accept whatever punishment you’re given. Give apologies to those you’ve hurt and try to be a better person. Once you’ve paid your dues, don’t whine and complain. Just do better and get on with your life.

I liked "Right Here" better anyway

I have never cheated on anyone. I have, to my knowledge, never been “the other woman” or the chick on the side for anyone. I don't say that to be sanctimonious or supercilious, I'm just stating fact. As a personal choice, I don’t cheat and don’t accept being cheated on. I’ve seen all sides of that situation play out with negative and (the rare) positive outcome and it’s just not for me. I don’t begrudge others their right to make that decision, but it will just never happen for me. I know what you’re thinking, how can I be so sure? There are too many multitudes of things that can happen for me to just make a blanket statement like that.

I recently heard a song on the radio that this topic brings to mind. It was “I’m So Into You” by SWV. It’s funny, when I was in high school I loved that song. Not because I believed differently then, just because I was able to separate my enjoyment of the melody and performance of that song from the ridiculous lyrical content. It’s difficult for me to do that now. Spurred by the beat and the tone of her voice, I really wanted to like that Jazmine Sullivan track, “Bust the Windows Out Your Car”. But in the end the lyrics just made me keep thinking that this crazy bitch needs to be arrested. Anyway, back to “I’m So Into You”. As I was in my car, jamming along to the song I took a real listen at what Taj, LeeLee and Coko were singing and it gave me a headache. The whole song is silly (albeit fun) but these lyrics from the beginning of the second verse take the cake.

Friends ask how could, I give myself
To one who belongs to someone else.
They just don't know, Your love's so good
That they would want it for themselves

That is some reasoning that I just can’t get behind. Let me get this straight, he is with someone else, but his love is so good you just can’t let go? Even using “love” as a euphemism for back-breaking, bed-shaking sex, I just don’t believe it’s that good. And if it is actually about his love, that’s even worse. How great can his “love” be if he can spread it out over (at least) two people? Real love isn’t about that. It’s just not. I’m not saying that you can’t be in love and attracted to someone else, or even (in rare cases) sexing up someone else. But you can’t be in love, loving someone else, or at least I can’t. And to me, when you love someone, you make a choice to not go elsewhere for sex.

I don’t tell anyone else the choices they should make in their relationships, but if you’re in a relationship with me you can count on two things. First, I will not cheat on you. Second, I will not tolerate you cheating on me. If you’re ready to bone someone else, break-up with me. I’ll do the same for you. I just think that’s how it should be in a relationship amongst two grown ass adults. If I don’t care about you enough to be faithful, then we shouldn’t be together. Understand that I say all of these things under the auspices of a mutual serious commitment. If we’re just dating 9or hanging out or friends who may have happened to get down once or twice, I hold neither of us to these standards. But if you are the person that I call my man, and we have agreed to be in an exclusive relationship, it had better be just that … exclusive.