Agua de vida

I am taking a bath. This is wonderful. There are few hedonistic pleasures I enjoy more than bathing. While I can take a quick one, usually it's a whole ritual ... music, candles, scented oils, body scrubs, the whole shebang. And that doesn't include the full body oil application that comes after the soak. (Hey, I have soft skin. I have to treat it well.) I can relax in the bath in a manner that's hard to find anywhere else. Anyway, that's all. I just wanted to compose a quick note of appreciation. Good night.

--AKIP--

Afterthought: the only problem with my tub is that there isn't really room for two (not that it's an issue currently). Then again, I wouldn't want an interloper to disturb my bathing experience.
;-)

Talking to the past

Ring, ring
Me (minding my own business): Hello.
Ex-Boyfriend (calling out of nowhere): Hey, how are you?
Me (unsure of who I’m talking to): Fine … Who am I speaking to?
Ex (having the audacity to sound offended that I don’t recognize the voice): This is blah.*
Me: Oh.
Ex: So, what’s up? What you been up to?
Me: Not much.
Ex: How’s your people?**
Me: Doing well.
Ex: Cool.
Extended silence
Ex: Damn, why you so tight?
Me: I’m not tight, I just don’t see what we have to talk about.
Ex: Well hell, I was just calling to see how you’ve been.
Me: I’m doing well.
More silence.
Me: Well okay, I gotta go.
Ex: A’ight girl. I’ll talk to you later.
Me: That’s not really necessary.
Ex: ... Alright ...
Me: Bye.
Ex: Bye?.

* Name changed to protect my peace of mind.
** Note that the terrible grammar is not my fault. This is actually how it was said to me.


So as I typed this conversation it all of a sudden sounded a lot harsher than it felt like at the time. But, the thing is, I really don’t see what I have to talk about with an ex. Like, what am I supposed to say? I’m not bitter or pissed about the end of the relationship, I’ve just moved on. I don’t feel the need to go back there with him. And what the hell is he calling me for anyway? We broke up ages ago, and we don’t have the kind of complex history that would necessitate us keeping in touch. I should mention that I have had exchanges along these lines with at least three different exes. It just boggles the mind for me.

I don’t know, am I being unduly harsh? Should I engage in polite chit-chat, or is it perfectly acceptable to just cut this conversation off at its knees?

Public Service Reminder

Here's an admonition to everyone (including myself):

Stop trying to classify others. People do not truly conform to categories. There's a reason we don't fit into boxes, we're not square. Every person has the capacity to be (and is indeed if you pay attention) so much more the sum of other's perceptions of them. When we are so quick to label and pigeonhole folk we do ourselves as well as them a grave disservice. Get to know the actual person, instead of just assuming to know them because you know their "type" and coloring in the rest of the picture from there.

Pictures of Me

I thought this exercise was pretty interesting. You answer questions about yourself through photos. I think my collage is rather intriguing. So anyway, here are the questions and my "response". Directions for making your own are at the bottom of this post. I encourage everyone to give it a shot. It's fun and somewhat enlightening to see things broken down that way. Can you figure out which picture goes with which question? (I'll admit, I semi cheated on some of these as I used pictures with words on them).

QUESTIONS:
1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?


ANSWER



























DIRECTIONS:
- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture
- Use this website http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php to make your collage.
- Save the image for use in this note.

I Stan For ...

I'm not feeling super literate today so i thought I would just make a list of my favorite things. I'm aware that I have done some iteration of this a few times before, but it's what I feel like doing today. So I'm going to do it again, repetitive or not.

MOVIES
* A Bronx Tale - The best gangster cautionary tale / racial harmony movie ever made.
* Auntie Mame - A master class on tolerance, perseverance and joie de vivre, wrapped in a zany comedy.
* Paul Newman - I was going to say The Long Hot Summer, but really it's just Paul Newman in almost anything.


MUSIC
* "Try a Little Tenderness" by Otis Redding - I shouldn't have to explain this. If you don't get it, you are lost and I can't find you.
* Jill Scott - I love not only her voice, but also her lyrics and her range. I think she's a phenomenal artist and I could listen to her all the time.
* "One" by U2 - This is not only one of my favorite songs, it is simply one of the best songs ever recorded. That's just truth.


GIFTS
* Jewelry - I like understated yet bold pieces with an element of radiance or sheen and/or simple stones. Right now I am loving the Mysterium Collection and I'm always a fan of Movado.
* Flowers - I did a whole post about this on my photoblog, but to keep it simple, I LOVE lilies. There is just something about their deceptive simplicity that is sexy to me.


CARS
* Aston Martin DB9 - I have mentioned this before, but this is just a beautiful car. Plus, hello James Bond.
* Muscle cars - I love the classic old cars especially the 1968 GTO and the 1969 Oldsmobile Cutlass. And I must say that the brand new 2009 Dodge Challenger is fantastic looking and so far the only new muscle car attempt that works for me.


PLACES
* Rome -It was a struggle to pick my favorite European city, but in the end, I had to go with my first. Maybe it was part and parcel of the whole experience, but I just love this city. It has such spirit and vitality.
* San Francisco - It's a total cliche I know, but I think SF is America's (second) best city. I love the laid back energy, excellent food and amazing views. I have never had a bad time here and I hope to continue to make an annual trip there. And, the proximity of wine country is just lagniappe to an already great place.


FOOD
* Steak - I think a medium New York strip, oscar style is about as close to nirvana as you can get. Add a delicious side (garlic mashed potatoes, onion rings, or truffled macaroni and cheese) and I'm blissed out.
* Carrot cake - Let me be very specific, my mother's carrot cake, with cream cheese icing and pecans. It's what I've had for a birthday cake every year since I can remember. And I have no desire to change that; you don't mess with perfection.
* Risotto - It elevates my love for rice to a whole new level. The creaminess is sublime and if it has cheese, so much the better. Yum!


CLOTHING
*Pumas - Even I don't fully understand my love for these shoes, especially considering I had never touched a pair until 2002. But after my first pair I was hooked. I mourn some of the hot pairs I lost in Katrina. I really want a pair of the Ferrari ones, but Pumas seem to get pricier every year.
* White Linen Pants - I'm finally getting up to almost as many pairs of these as I had Pre-Katrina. I would wear white linen pants everyday if I could. They're the most comfortable and cool, yet stylish thing going.

When sharing is NOT caring

As I ventured out into the social wilds Saturday night, some very interesting things happened, not least of which was seeing a fully naked confused and embarrassed man hiding in the corner of a hotel lobby, flapping in the central air provided breeze. But, even with that, the craziest thing that happened to me is that I was hit on by a man, rocking an extremely visible wedding ring. I stared at this buffoon and his wanton behavior with a look of pure incredulity and wondered if this was maybe a joke. Finally, I just sputtered out obvious question, "Are you married?" When he answered in the affirmative I couldn't have been more shocked if he had slapped me. I asked what made him think I would be interested in a married man and he fired back, "Don't be like that girl. I'll take care of you. You can have whatever you like."

Cheesy T.I. Lyrics aside, is this clown serious? What in the world would have to come over me to make this seem like a good idea? Do I seem like an idiot or a woman that desperate for a man? I have always said that my reasons for not dating married men aren't really moral, they're selfish. I don't say that to sound callous, but it's the God's honest truth. Although I absolutely believe that you are daring karma to come and kick your ass in a situation like this, that's not why I don't do it. I abstain from the encumbered man for a very basic reason ... I don't want to share. I want my man to be about me. If I have car trouble, I want him to come and help me out, not have to go bring his wife lunch at work. If I get sexually needy at 2 am, I want to be able to call him, drop in his spot and get tightened up. I want to be able to go for dinner and drinks anywhere in this tiny microcosm that is New Orleans, without him worrying that his wife might find out. And if I can't have those things, why should I bother?

If you know me at all, you know that I can, and do, take care of myself fairly well. So, in order to be with me, you have to add value to my life. And no, just serving as my boyfriend is not valuable. It helps me in no way to just have some lunkhead near me, collecting points by pure proximity and the title boyfriend. Neither is having a piece of man available for sex. Hell, dick is easy to come by. If that's all I expected, I could have that everyday (and 3 times on Saturday).
What really kills me about these busters is that they don't preserve the sanctity of their unions and they want me to join them in that. But, no thank you I say, I'd like to try to be a decent person. I believe most people truly want to be good, but things can get in our way. So I make plans to sidestep the obstacles in my path, and I roll my eyes at those sorry people who find this behavior to be acceptable. Shame on you!

I LOVE!!!

Welcome back Maxwell. I missed you so. LOL.

Okay, I'm joking, but I did totally miss Maxwell. I hope the rest of the CD is as good as this track.

Falling Slowly

It was a very interesting weekend. It's not that I did so very many things, but I did get out some and also, I had a lot of time to think. It was just a weekend full of moments, small and personally notable.

I worked on my house today (Sunday). While I was in Lowes picking out supplies for my projects, I realized just how often I'm going to be doing this for several years. Puportedly, I finished my house last year when I moved in, but yet it's a work in progress. There is always something more that I could be doing. But knowing how I am about my house, it's a labor of love.

Saturday I helped Joia make Gumbo Z'herbs for Andre. Deciding to make it was one of those spur of the moment choices, brought on by finding the recipe in a cookbook while wandering the bookstore. And believe me, making that soup was no easy task. There was more chopping and prepping than anything I've made in a long time (and I made Thai curry paste a couple weeks ago). But helping her with this task, this spontaneous outpouring of culinary affection, made me once again realize just how important it is to have people around you who truly care and who would go that far for you. Friends, lovers, family, - whoever you choose to share your life with. They should all be willing (and eager) to truly give of themselves and we should be the same.

Friday night I shared a good kiss with a relatively new friend. (I rate it good, as opposed to great, due to the brevity). And as I walked to my car contemplating the kiss and the conversation that preceeded it, I was struck with a familiar bittersweet feeling. Once again, I'm dealing with a man I like. That is neither an endorsement nor complaint. It is just a common occurrence for me to like men, I think more than most women do. I should clarify that by like, I don't mean sex (although I highly enjoy that). I just mean that I like men, that I enjoy their straightforward nature and general ineptitude at sentimentality. I like watching the processes their minds go through (though I will never understand them) and the things they choose to verbalize versus what they don't say. I'll freely admit that these things are completely frustrating on a man I'm in a relationship with, but on those who aren't my man, it's fascinating. Anyway, I had been kind of down on men lately, so it was a pleasure to remember how much I generally enjoy the male half of our species.

So that's pretty much it. My weekend summed up in highlight form. It's my own personal cliff notes. LOL. So, that'll do for now. Good night.

Dream for an Insomniac

I can't sleep.

I don't know why, but I can't seem to turn my mind off tonight. I'm just lying here in the dark contemplating things. I'm playing with my phone, lighting candles and thinking I hear animals in the attic - you know, just generally tripping out. I keep thinking about some amazing moments I've had, and all of the things that I'd like to go on and do. I'm pondering the person that I am and was.
Just trying to puzzle out this crazy life.

So, writing this has helped. I'm actually getting sleepy now. So I guess I'm going now.

--AKIP-

p.s. Here's my favorite photo from my cameraphone photo session earlier.