midnight

Sometimes I have to admit, I'm lonely. That is a difficult admission for me to make. There's something about the word lonely that makes me feel slightly pathetic, like the old cat lady down the block. I am aware that loneliness is not tantamount to piteousness, but occasionally on a night like tonight, I forget.
I try to remind myself, during these late night sessions of meloncholy, that I am not alone. I have an obscene number of friends and family who love me and who would actually participate if I called them at that very moment. But that doesn't really change how I feel in the darkness. It's this wholly unreasonable feeling that leads me to consider making very imbecilic decisions, like making phone calls to people better left in the past. These days, however, I do refrain from actually making those calls; I just debate it for an interminable moment. Ah, the joys of growing up.
Anyway, I'm not really dicussing anything of merit here; I'm just throwing myself a pity party. So I'm going to suck it up and stop whining. But before I go I will say this, celibacy sucks!
-- AKIP --