So what does that title mean, apart from the fact that I love (multi syllabic) alliteration? Well, tonight it just means that I'm exploring my lack of fire. Someone told me recently that I had to find a man that I could be truly be passionate about, if I'm ever expecting to have a great relationship. Or at least I think that's what was said. I tend to translate things in my mind and then paraphrase as best as I can. Anyway, this person said that I need someone who I really spark with, instead of someone I just sort of get along with. I said to myself, that's not so hard. But then I thought back and I wondered if I have ever done that. And I don't know if I have. I mean, at the time I may have thought so about a couple of people, but looking back, that wasn't really the case. It's a little pathetic. How is it possible that in 32 years, I have never felt that burning intensity for someone? I find that I usually miss the relationship when it's over a lot more than the person. I mean don't get me wrong, I have genuinely liked and cared for everyone I've ever been involved with, and a couple of times I have even fallen in love. But felt truly passionate about someone? Passionate enough to survive through the rocky times? Sufficiently ardent to even debate tolerating any breaking of my steadfast rules? No, never. And that feels crazy to me. Once again, it's something I'm doing not quite right. One day I will get the hang of this stuff. I hope I still have all my original parts then.
Anyway, If someone can tell me how I'm supposed to find this perfectly passionate partner (more alliteration) please holla at ya girl.
Fire in a relationship is like salt when cooking - there is a such thing as too much, and there is a such thing as too little, and if you have to err, it's probably better to err on the side of too little. I just re-read a post of just two weeks ago where I was head over heels over a guy who I haven't spoken to in a little over a week... I think you should do you. Just chug along at your clip and don't start trying to be all firey (sp?) now. I'm too firey about just about every single guy...that's a problem, too.
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